Day Trading in "What Could Go Wrong"

I watched an interview with Seth Godin and he talked about how he had day-traded in “what could go wrong.” I laughed because it is a perfect description of what I so often do.

On the cusp of something new, exciting, or even doing something I haven't done for a long time like sewing an apron, I inevitably drift to the dark corners of possibility. I start meticulously cataloging every potential snag, every imaginable disaster, every "what if" that could derail my plans.

I know that a healthy dose of foresight is important, if not essential. However, mentally entertaining disaster is overly dramatic and paralyzing.

Stayin’ Alive

So I thought I’d take a deeper look at what is going on. Studies show that most people automatically search for what could go wrong.  Likely it stems from survival instinct; we are hard-wired to identify threats.

Sewing an apron is hardly a threat.

Illusion of Control

Also, excessive worrying about what could go wrong can stem from a desire for control. I erroneously think that by foreseeing every potential pitfall, I can somehow prevent them, or at least be perfectly prepared. The reality, however, is that life is inherently unpredictable. I can plan, I can prepare, but I cannot control every variable. My relentless pursuit of safety and control through worry creates an illusion. . .and sometimes I buy into that illusion even if I would like to live otherwise.

Worry is a relentless thief of joy. 

The irony is that apprehension robs me of the very experiences that I’m trying to generate.

I am not going to pretend

When reading a blog I expect the writer to come up with some solutions.  I am not going to pretend that I have an antidote to worry, clear solutions. I can only offer a list of things that have genuinely helped me get out of day-trading in “what could go wrong”.  Keep in mind, I am not just talking about projects like sewing an apron, I am also talking about relationships and things like meeting new people.

1.      Gratitude - giving thanks for what truly is: life, home, partner, children, etc.

2.      Thinking simple true thoughts like, “People do this every day”, “If I communicate with this person, it could result in a deeper friendship”, “If I mess up the apron, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I have the fun of doing it.”

3.      Question my thinking: Look at the “what if…”; if it occurs, would it really matter?

4.      Asking for advice, reading, or watching videos about accomplishing what I am setting out to do or a situation I am facing. (Note: other people don’t necessarily know the answer either.)

5.      Reflect upon what could go right.

6.      Acknowledge what I cannot control and redirect my focus to what is within my sphere.

7.      Accept that I make mistakes. This has nothing to do with my worth. It confirms once again, that I am human. All of us are learning.

8.      Deciding what action or inaction is of greatest benefit for me right now. Look at the steps I could take. Check in with my body. For example, when I think about taking that trip to see friends, I smile when I think of them, but the thought of the lengthy trip makes me feel tired.  I remind myself that sometimes when I hold back (inaction), a resolution appears as a result.

Most of us engage in day-trading in what could go wrong at some time and to varying degrees. Know that age isn’t necessarily a preventative for this kind of day-trading and you are not alone. We are human and radiant eternal souls at the same time and that is what is going right.